Praise and Worship Delight

It has only been a little over a year since I was formally tasked to be a songleader. It was an amazing ride as I personally witness how God works in wonderful ways. All I can say is that God is amazingly wonderful! Up until now, I am in awe at the Lord’s working. It was not without problems, but it is through those little moments of seeing our shortcomings and limitations that we get to see how BIG our God is, how HE is in control and how GOD can work in wondrous ways in our hearts and the hearts of the congregation.

Saturday morning (October 15), I was on my way to our P&W rehearsal when I received a text message that our keyboardist would not be able to make it due to sickness. Panic was somehow creeping in, who’s going to be our keyboardist? Kuya Roel can’t make it! Ate Ann was out-of-town to celebrate their anniversary, Ryan was in Marikina while Jill was playing for the youth worship service. I was out of options. I was saying to myself that maybe I could try playing the keyboards this time, but I was not really that good enough to play and songlead at the same time, hehe! The problem did not end there, I was with a new team. My usual bassist, Revin, cannot make it due to a retreat he had to attend in their university. My brother Leo, my lead guitarist, was still on his way back from his Sydney flight that Saturday. Nevertheless, I was provided with a newbie bassist (kuya G) and rhythm guitarist (kuya R). I’m solved with that… but I was already foreseeing a probable problem with how I could work with the band dynamics since Leo was not present and our musical director/keyboardist, kuya roel was sick. You see, with our team, it was usually Leo who takes care of the band dynamics while I take care of the voices of the back-up singers. It used to be a lot easier working with the same team since you already knew how to work with each other, so with the new ones, I knew we had to adjust somehow. The only one who was present there from our original team was Dan, our usual drummer, to whom I was really grateful. In the absence of Leo and Kuya Roel, Dan stood up and led the band.

Backtracking a bit, when I got to the church, only the drummer and bassist were present and I had only three back-up singers at that time (Joanne, MJ and Apol). I breathed in and out, calmed myself and prayed. I’ve been in this situation before and the Lord never fails to take care of us. We went with our usual study of God’s word before the rehearsal. And again, we were reminded that God is in control. Each of the team members had their little words of encouragements. This ministry is God’s work and the Lord will never leave us, that we could still work together and that our great musical director is no other else but God Himself. MJ reminded us that it is through moments like these that our faith is being stretched so that we would just look onto God alone and not on the skills of the musicians. Joanne seconded that we are serving God and it is during these times that we should all the more depend on God. Refreshed and revived, we went on stage, with our hearts stirred up to play and sing for the Lord. Oh, by the way, when we were about to start the rehearsal, Deacon Bobby arrived and we all shouted hurray. He said that Ate Ann texted him to be our keyboardist. Later on, some more back-up singers got there as well. I got a new tenor in the team, woohoo, welcome EJ!

It was not easy. Looking back, it was really chaotic, haha! We can’t even get pass through the introduction of one Lakewood song, hahaha! There were other some technical problems as well, our sound tech/engineer was also absent so we were having trouble with the sound of the microphones and the mix of the sounds. Whew! Oh yeah, and did I tell you, we were not provided with the songsheets because the one who’s supposed to prepare them was absent as well. See… it was not really our day. I had to search for the chords and lyrics of the songs myself. Huhu. But at the end of this day, we had fun learning and serving God.
I think, more than anything else, the hearts of the team members encouraged me a lot. I knew they were there to serve God alone, to have only ONE audience—God Himself. I had peace, not because we were good (you should have heard us, how awful we were in the rehearsal, hehe!), we were not as skilled as the others, but I see in my team a heart whose passion and goal is to delight in our King. I knew it would be God helping us play and sing for His glory.
Come Sunday morning, Leo finally got to play with us. Ate Ann also went early in the morning to rehearse with us as second keyboardist. The early morning rehearsal was still a bit chaotic, I must say, hehe! This time, Dan was late, and we had to go through the line-up without the drum beats, imagine that! Hehe! Then came a time when we had to bow down in prayer before we go up the stage for the praise and worship. Each was sincerely praying for each other. We walked up the stage and when the beat started, I can only find myself amazed at the sound we were making. It was heavenly. It was glorious! And I find myself praising and worshipping God with all of my heart. I knew this was all God’s working. I felt ashamed at how I doubted Him at first, because if I would just recall what happened in that Praise & Worship, it was just amazing! Words are not enough to describe it. The band is finally working together, the harmony of voices was there and the Holy Spirit was working wonderfully. I can only stand amazed! At the end of the service, one texted me, she said that a lot of people cried during the service because they were touched by the songs. Some people also approached me and praised God for the wonderful P&W. I replied praising God alone for He was the one responsible for all that happened. We knew how we were by ourselves, it was really messy, hehe, but God did transform all of us for His glory.

I knew I haven’t been blogging for quite some time now. Sayang nga e, there have been a lot of milestones in my life which I haven’t shared through blogging (though I have been faithful in storing it in my journal). But I get to be really amazed at God’s working that I can’t stop myself from just sharing moments like this. October 16 was a day never to forget, it was the day our faith was stretched and our dependence on God was reinforced. There is really no other response but WORSHIP!

Change

It has only been less than a month since I had my hair cut short… a little bit over the chin, which I instantly loved. It’s like a break from a decade of having it so long. I reckon it framed my face well and I kinda’ like the change. There! --- a change that I just love to have! But then again… just this morning, I looked at it and realized how fast it has grown, well, it is not as long as before but yeah, longer than what I remembered it to be…longer than it used to be… longer than I wanted it to be… it changed! There!--- a change, THE inevitable change… which… after a certain pause of a moment , made me realized that it is something… errr… uhm… something I just had to deal with.

CHANGE!!! love it! hate it! No matter how you look it, it will still be what it is… Change! I shouldn’t be so surprise for I have grown up hearing that the only permanent thing in this world is guess what?—change! But I guess because I, myself, have been dealing with certain degree of “changes” at present, it suddenly becomes such a big deal. I know that there have been many things in my life which,upon my decision, changed because I wanted it to. Nevertheless, there were also differences that happened and are about to happen because of its inevitability. I think the latter scares me more. It scares me because of the uncertainty it brings and more than that, it scares me because … well, I’ve enjoyed this stage so much and there were just some things that I wanted to hold back… to be the way they were… to be how it used to be… to be just as it was. My friend once told me that we shouldn’t settle for just comfort, but rather for growth. Upon hearing that, I reckon that it was actually those inevitable changes which made me stronger and better as a person.

I looked back and reflected on the changes (big and small) that happened in my life. I can’t say that I like all those changes nor would I say that I glided through it well. It was excruciatingly painful at some point but exquisitely essential. As I ponder through my journey, I’ve learned some important points that “change” taught me, something that I carry with me whenever I encounter “change” in my life.

Character
“Change” can reveal so much of my character, so much of who I am and how I deal with things. I owe it to “change” that I see my very own weaknesses. It gives me a sight of my attitude (bad attitude, that is) when things happen beyond how I planned it to be. In the same way, it gives me a proper view of things which I often overlook. As much as it reveals my character, it also teaches THE character that I have to improve and THE character that I have to wear. With a little tug of honesty as I look at myself and the situation at hand, slowly but surely, these “changes” helps my character gets polished and refined along the way.

Hope
Changes always scare me (as it is actually doing to me right now). But at the same time, it always teaches me to hope! Yes, to hope that things would be okay (or at least would not go as bad as I would fear it to be) and that things would get better soon. Or if not, then it still teaches me to hope that some lessons are there for me to pick up which would make me wiser in the future, thereby making it better even if that means that “now” is not its time. I guess, with many uncertainties along the way, hope is something we should always carry in our bag. It’s like an instant dose of energy booster that gives an extra strength even if circumstances may be stormy and our view of things is cloudy. Hope, together with faith, makes us believe that at least one beautiful thing is on its way.

Acceptance
Changes that unfold may not always the change we wanted to happen. I’ve dealt with those kinds of changes myself. I detested and fought it with all my might. However, I can only control so much in my hand, which means that there are just things beyond my control and no matter what, I can’t prevent the course of things. Changes happen. Sometimes, the best way to deal with it is to really accept the fact that things already changed from what it used to be. It’s a part of life and we had to accept those changes. It is through acceptance that we get to see the beauty that the change brought. It is through acceptance that we get to move on and have a clearer view of the horizon ahead of us. Acceptance helps us in appreciating these changes and acceptance helps us know how we could deal with these changes.

Nurture
Changes can also be a field where we can nurture and develop our strengths. It is through dealing with these changes that I get to discover my capabilities. It gives me a glimpse of what I can do and it grants me a perspective of what I can do still. Changes give us a chance to unearth our potentials and realize their values. More than realizing our potentials, I guess, changes can also be a stage to nurture our relationship with people we are with. It is a time to actually appreciate the very people who supported and stayed with you during this time of change. It is a moment when we get to cherish their presence and importance in our lives.

Grace
It starts with grace! I wouldn’t be able to pull through all the changes if not for God’s grace. Everything, all of my strength and the wisdom that came along, is from God, His grace. And I would not dare claim that I was able to do it all by myself. In fact, it was mostly God carrying me all along, encouraging me and fighting for me. It was Him who supplied all my needs and more. It was Him who loved me even during the times when I, myself, don’t love my-self. And it was because of that grace, that unfathomable love, which made me face tomorrow with courage and strength.

Experience
Things may not turn out the way we would have wanted it to be. Things may not be even better at present. And things may not, at the very least, be okay. But it does not mean we haven’t learned anything from it. “Change” in our lives makes our experiences a lot more colorful, a lot more interesting (or intriguing?) and yes, a lot more beautiful. It makes our lives more worthy to look at. Charge it to experience, they say. I guess, it is through changes that our experiences become a lot more meaningful.

I don’t know why I did start telling you about my hair and then ended up discussing about the things I’ve learned about “change”. I guess, it is through simple things that we get to have a peek of understanding and perceiving the essence of life’s complications. Oh well…

delight...

This evening may be just an ordinary one, but the simple joy that emanated from our grateful hearts made it an unforgettable one. Leo just got back and he brought with him our dear old Pong. Yup, our beloved 1303 VW Pong is back and we welcomed him with much love and excitement, hehe! oh, how we missed him so much! He was way different compared from the last time we saw him, way handsome in all aspects *wink*. We were in awe as we look at every detail of Pong's new look. OOohhhh! Leo and I were smiling from ear to ear. At long last, after a year of waiting, Pong's back.

When Leo came back, he didn't even bother to go inside our house, he shouted "ate, tara, drive natin si pong." So there, we decided to take Pong for a spin. We were like two little kids who were so excited with their newly restored toy, haha! Indescribable feeling indeed...nostalgic but blissful! After awhile, we went to Mcdo and ordered some evening snacks, hehe! He treated me out since i didn't bring any money with me (hey, his invite was sort of a spur of the moment thing, so i didn't bring anything with me).

As i've said, this was just one of those ordinary evenings between us brother and sister, but i guess the simplicity of just being together as we share the joy of having this simple blessing was the main thing that spelled the difference. And I guess, it is this kind of simple joy which make life more meaningful and beautiful.

I went out of our car and i looked up at the sky. I saw the moon, exquisitely smiling at me, as if sharing with me the joy that i felt that night. I smiled back and traced with my hand the shadow of its ring as if I've made a pact with this moon, my lovely moon, saying "you would surely witness scenes more beautiful than this, and your light would shine, glowing upon one's pure bliss."

I looked up and saw the moon smiling at me...
and what a delight it has shown to thee
that simple words and gestures could make
to a heart who loves for sole love's sake
~s-parcs~

Trust...

I guess one of the highlights I had this month was attending the Testimonial dinner that Naval Air Group (NAG) prepared for my dad. That morning, 17 March 2009, dad had his what they call “Champagne Flight” at NAG, Sangley Point, Cavite City. It was a privilege they give to those Naval Aviators who are about to retire (my dad will retire this April 2009). My dad flew the BN Islander, an aircraft he used to pilot in the past. I was not there that morning (I had my morning class) but when mom and leo told me about it, I knew I missed a lot. The experience was so surreal for my dad. As he related it to us, it was like he was flying through the past mementos, appreciating the wind that carried him through, thanking the sun that shined his path and recognizing the rains which made him stronger and wiser in his flight. The happiness, which was so evident in my dad that morning, was beyond words and description (will post some pictures as soon as I got dad’s camera). Seeing that joy emanating through him is a reward and treasure that no amount of money could ever match.

That evening, we did attend the Testimonial dinner. I believe it was a memorable night for my dad. An AVP was presented showing old pictures when he was young, when he joined the NAG and when he chose a career outside NAG (some young aviators went to our house and asked some old pictures of my dad). As I look at him watching the AVP, I could just smile knowing that my dad enjoys every minute of it.

There was a part there when my dad had to make a speech. It was a pretty lengthy one where he described all his trials and feats, his failures and successes, his ups and downs. But this is the one that I will never forget… at the end of his speech, he mentioned a particular verse, let me reiterate what he said in the latter part of his speech… teary eyed he said…

“In the past 60 years of my life, I have learned a lot of lessons. Life is not just a matter of making choices, but more so about making the right decisions. In making the right decisions in life, we need training, experience and most of all, wisdom… that can only come from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. In this, I would like to share this verse from the Bible written by King Solomon as he ruled the Kingdom of Israel with wisdom. Proverbs 3:5-6 says ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.’ This verse has guided me in so many major decisions I have. I may not have realized it then but looking back, I realized that it had indeed helped me make the right decision. God directed my path. He, too, can do that in your life…”

It was something that not only inspired the young aviators but also inspired me and Leo, his children. It was a good reminder for me as well because I, myself, was facing a crucial crossroad in life at that time and yes, was on the verge of making a major decision. I don’t know the future, no one does. But I know someone who knows, and I’m resting in the palm of His hand, I guess, that’s good enough comfort in this erratic unstable world, hehe! I should learn to cultivate that trust more in the Lord and acknowledge Him in every minute detail in my life… yes, that promise is there, God will direct my path.

My dad inspired me in a lot of ways. I know that his flight in life is not finished yet. He is still flying. He would still encounter a peaceful sky or stormy heavens. But the good thing that I have seen in him is that even if he had reached that highest point in his career, my dad still let God to be the sole Captain of his life. Kudos to you Capt. Eligio P. Parcon Jr. our captain, our father, our inspiration.

I'm back...

And so im back…

I guess it had to take a cold, dry cough and sore throat before I even had time to write here again, hahaha! Yeah, sometimes I get the message that God allows me to be sick sometimes so that I could have my rest, a mandatory one, that is. The first quarter of the year has been a very busy one for me. I was doing this extra “raket” at the end of December 2008 which kind of lasted til end-January 2009. It sort of overlapped with this another “raket” which started end-January . My February was a real busy and stressful one. Since we are supposed to finish this “raket” in a month, each day was counted as important one. Each day, I had certain tasks to finish and I had to juggle it altogether with my real job, which is teaching. My March was spent trying to catch up with my backlogs, yeah, trying to check some papers and other stuffs plus I still had to finish certain things with this recent “raket” as well, hehe! And there… boom… I got sick in the middle of this month… hahaha! It was funny actually, because I got sick during this time when I can relatively afford to get sick, hehe!

Despite it all, I saw how the Lord had been working mightily in my life. It amazes me whenever I would look back at the days that had just passed and I would smile… thinking… “Lord, I could not have done these without You.” It’s a blessing to be able to get through the day not worrying that things would mess up the next day because you know that God is with you and He is guiding you on what to do next. Oh, there were times when I would take a deep breath and say “Lord, I would do my best, please control the rest.” There were times when I would sigh and wonder how would I be able to pull this problem through, but right in the nick of time, God is there, sending His angels to help me; and rebuking me as if telling me “I told you I’ll help you.” I am in awe every time God would answer my prayers in ways that is way better than what I could have planned or imagined. Whenever I need to finish seemingly insurmountable functions, God would indeed send the very people I need in order to get the job done. Then I would look at God and say “You do know I need those people, don’t you? Thanks for sending them.” Of course there were still times when I would meet certain disarrays, but then again at the end of the day, I would see that God is teaching me some lessons, working on my character and maybe molding me for what He prepared for me in the future. He knows what I need and more...

Every time the ball rolls, I knew, God is there helping me carry my loads, guiding my path, preparing my trail and yes, teaching me lessons along the way.

God cares. He always does. He never faileth! God loves me! And it’s more than enough reason for me to smile… to be happy… to be just me.

@@@

Btw, for those who asked, yes, I was interviewed by Ka-blog, GMA in one of their episodes last February 2009, hehe! I was their resource psychologist on the topic of teen drinking. I never really told it to anyone except my family so to my friends who were quite upset, talagang wala lang talaga akong pinagsabihan, promise. Sabi ng ibang nakakita, kasama din daw ako sa commercial ng show na ito, since di naman ako masyadong nanonood ng tv, di ko nakita ang teaser ng palabas na ito, hehe! But yeah, I did try to find time to watch this show, hehe, and I took picture of it para naman may souvenir ako. Here…


Last year, April 2008, I was also interviewed for an article in Chalk Magazine June 2008 issue. I was their resource psychologist for an article about college kids overpartying, hehe! Yes, again, I didn’t tell it to anyone, hehe! While cleaning up my room, I saw the magazine and I did take some pictures of it, hehe! (oh yeah, I did highlight those phrases that were quoted from me, haha!)

Alas!

And so there it was...
A ghost from the past
whispers my name,
renders me lame.

a lie was told,
a shield i hold.
never am i sure,
intentions were pure.

you put out your scheme.
Found it out in dim,
don’t expect me to trust,
nor believe you at last.

to south, the wind blows,
the river so it flows,
taking another step,
moving on another depth.

closing my eyes
I wanted to cry
but no tear was found
and calmness sound

and so there it goes…
emotions and all its hosts
thrown in deep abyss
in exchange for some bliss.

Alas…
I am free…

i know you love me...

Yeah... i know... i've been silent the past few weeks. It has been one roller coaster ride as i try to juggle work, responsibilities and commitments. One of my "rakets" will end by end-February and I hope i get to write here again by then. Nonetheless, a song touched my heart deeply this morning and i can't keep myself from sharing its lyrics. It is my prayer that as you listen to the song, you would feel how much the Lord loves you. Have a great week ahead guys!

At the Cross
Hillsong

Oh Lord You've searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was she'd for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
I know You love me