A Beautiful Scar

They say that the worst place to be in is to be outside the will of God and i couldn't agree any further! It is true! The thing is I had to learn it the painful way. I was swayed by the lies of this world and made myself believe that I could go and do things my own way, that I could fool God as if He would not know the intentions of my heart. I started justifying my actions. I started to reason out before the Lord amidst His clear "no" answer from His word. I started believing "What the heck! eveybody's doing it anyway!" I began to believe I was strong enough to handle temptations. Pride was eating me. I began to believe I know what is best for me instead of trusting in God's wonderful plan for my life! Soon, I compromised. I lowered the standards that I have set for myself. I willingly entered the dark path. I began defiling my values and breaking my principles. I transgressed the line the Bible set as warning signs. I walked towards sin and allowed sin to catch me. I grieved the Holy Spirit. I fell and I fell hard!!!

Everytime I would remember that, I would cringe!!! It was a sight of horror, a shameful thing!-- a part of my life that I would never be proud of. If not for the grace of God and the help of the Holy Spirit, I would still be digging the pit for my own grave right now. How thankful I am to the Lord for taking me out of that place. I cannot even claim I got myself out of it. I was so engrossed that it already held me captive. I was so weak to let go! But the grace of God was there! and He helped me!

It was painful!!! really painful! I kept on saying to my friends that if there is ever one thing that I never wanted you to feel, it is this pain of disobedience! Learn from my experience! Disobedience is far more costly than obedience! Do not ever believe on Satan's lies! You do not have to wait for the Lord's discipline because if you are really His child, the Lord WILL discipline you and He knows which part of your life to hit so that you will realize the wrong things you have done.

I am glad we have a forgiving God who gives us second chances, who cleanses us from our sins and gives us a new life, who restores our joy of salvation and makes us whiter than snow. The Lord redeemed me!!! That is the grace of God and I'm thankful and grateful to the Lord for putting me where I am right now.

I must mention though that that particular disobedience left a scar in my life. However, God made it a beautiful scar. That scar may have reminded me how vulnerable I was, how ugly I was, how filthy my heart was and how sinful my life had been. But that scar also reminded me that inspite of all that, inspite of my rebellion and inspite of the way I have ignored his instructions, the Lord still took me and love me the best way possible!!! and that's the most unconditional love I have ever had!!!!